Sexuality Shift

Silver Chalice E-zine Exclusive ~ Feature Article
Wicca Spirituality Table of Contents
Page copy protected against web site content infringement by Copyscape

Shakti & Shiva, Sexuality Shift Energy Field  ©
There's an Energy Field shift that's happening all over the world, as we move from the Old Paradigm to the New Paradigm.

One aspect of this shift has been showing up in sexuality.

It's happening at different times for different people, over the course of months or even years.

This is manifesting in various ways, including lack of sexual desire or arousal, difficulty in getting erections (for men), and sexual passion fizzling out before resolution... or even before it really gets going.

You may not be experiencing this yet, but read on, because at some point you're going to find yourself sitting up in bed with puzzlement and frustration, wondering what's gone wrong.

There are mainly two things playing out in this shift. This article explores both, and suggests things you can do to ease this transition for yourself and your sexual partner.

The Main Underlying
(no pun intended)

A Year And A Day: Becoming a Wiccan  ©

What's happening is a change in the meaning of sex, and the boundaries of gender. Let's look at these separately, starting with the meaning of sex.

We are no longer simply craving sex (a biological urge). With the evolution of our species into a more spiritual level, our souls are now yearning to authentically make love (a spiritual urge).

What's the difference?

At the nadir of the Old Paradigm, sex was reduced to nothing more than "getting your rocks off." Whatever gender you were, there was pressure to see sexuality as...

  • without meaning,
  • without heart,
  • and definitely without spirit.

The other person was seen as a tool of our gratification (whether erotic or reproductive), a meal to be consumed because it looked tasty and we were hungry.

Granted, more men than women fell completely under this curse. Women approach sexuality differently in biology, emotion, mind, and spirit, but women as a whole were also urged to make sex no more than a physical exercise or release and ego-gratification, and many if not most succumbed to some degree.

Evolutionarily, I believe this had to happen: it was a way of wresting control of our sexuality away from the twisted objectives of Western religion. It was the far swing of the pendulum that began when established religions stole the sanctity from sexuality.

However, such a shallow and empty approach to anything — let alone one of the most potent experiences in life — leaves us feeling unfulfilled and fundamentally empty, even without worth.

It harms us, anyone else involved, and ultimately the whole Earth.

Sex In The New Paradigm

So now, as the New Paradigm gains momentum and reaches ever more widely across the world, bringing the rebirth of spirituality and the Goddess, we're finding our attitudes toward sexuality changing as well... sometimes without our permission!

One result is that we don't know quite how to approach sex anymore. We may physically and emotionally want the release and pleasure of sex as much as ever, but when we try to scratch that itch, we find that we can't quite put our finger on the spot.

What I mean is, one day you may find yourself about to have sex, when the energy of it just falls apart, dissipating, leaving you blinking your eyes, wondering what happened and where to go from here.

And that's the key question!

It's getting more difficult to ignore the soul of sexuality and satisfy only the body's (or emotions') needs: that kind of sex now leaves us cold (literally and figuratively).

"Where we go from there" is reviving the soul-purpose of sexuality, and redeeming its sacred nature.

HOW we do that, well, that's a whole 'nother thing!

We must return the meaning, the heart, and the spirit to our sexuality.

Recovering Meaning

Recovering the passion comes with returning to an authentic spiritual purpose of sexuality.

The spiritual potency of sexuality is seen in Wicca and some other philosophies as the Great Rite: the cosmic unification of the forces of Creation — Goddess and God.

(Please understand: there is no gender component to this other than on the surface: we all carry and can embody the energy of both the Divine Feminine and Divine Masculine.)

You can see this article for info on the Great Rite.

Or if you're taking the Wicca Beginners' course, there's a whole lesson on this topic.

To sum up a very complex idea in a few sentences, the Great Rite is expressed in sex when we embody the energy of the God/dess, and even more when we approach our beloved as truly a manifestation of God/dess — with reverence and joy and gratitude and the desire to serve.

In the Great Rite, both parties have this energy and intention. We meet in humility for the amazing gift being offered us, and in awe for the beauty and power of the Divine Incarnate.

And sexuality becomes not about a fleeting physical high, but a way of entering into and propelling the beneficial forces of Creation to greater heights.

We actually tap into the forces of Creation, drawing them in and releasing them into the world for the benefit of the whole Earth.

From such an objective perspective, it doesn’t sound very passionate.

But when you experience the sexual/creative energy of the God/dess moving through your body and mind, well, that's what shakes the Earth and causes lightning and fireworks and all the other great experiences we associate with sexuality.

Recovering Heart

Lest that become too impersonal, the first part of the equation is intimacy. You're not making love only with the God/dess, but with this unique, wondrous, mysterious, beloved person beside you!

Recapturing the warmth of sexuality comes from intimacy.

Intimacy is another huge topic, because it's such a mindshift from what we've learned in our culture.

Recovering heart in sex is about increasing intimacy. It's about making and expressing love, rather than just having sex (let alone "nailing," "tapping," "fucking," and other completely disengaged and disrespectful perspectives on physical intercourse).

And that's not easy, because it means we must put aside the armour and defenses we believe protect us.

It may help to know that, unlikely as it seems, the defenses are in fact the cause of suffering, not the prevention of it.

And the relief and freedom and joy of being free of our defenses FAR outweighs the scant hope of protection!

Intimacy requires us to connect with our heart, soften and open in the heart centre.

And then to connect with our partner's heart and soul as well.

Tantric exercises are great for this.

People have a lot of mistaken beliefs about Tantra (naturally, since our whole perception of sexuality is distorted). It's often believed to be a sexual practice, but that's only taking the tip of the iceberg — the part that makes sense in the Old Paradigm — and ignoring the rest. And indeed, some teachers have twisted the very essence of Tantra to serve only men's spiritual needs, with women being merely an instrument.

But I'm here to tell you, there's a LOT more to it, and it starts so simply a child could do it (better than most adults).

It starts with simple things like holding hands, facing each other, and looking steadily, honestly, and lovingly into each other's eyes. Or putting a hand on each other's hearts and breathing together until harmony is achieved.

These practices help us find connection, perceive the truth of each other (and ourselves), open our hearts, and begin to find union on an energy, spiritual level.

Recovering Spirit

Reigniting the magick of sexuality comes from integrating Spirit and Soul in the sex act.

The keys to that are the keys to everything in the New Paradigm:

  • Relax into the present moment, and fully inhabit it, fully enjoy the moment
  • Leave out the stories and stay unattached to expectations
  • Heal the old wounds and release yourself from the prison of your fears, including your pride
  • Be authentic to the best of the Soul trying to express itself through you
  • Align yourself with Divine Energy, again and again, in every moment
  • Soften and open your heart; open to others and engage completely
  • Accept love and be love

Okay, that's a tall order.
We're not going to get there all at once.

But when we know where we're aiming, we can at least start getting closer and closer to the target.

The Other Half:
Sexual Spiritual Awakening

Gender Blend ©
The rigid binary system where the man was required to be "the dominant one" and the woman was only allowed to be "the submissive one," in life as well as sexuality, is pretty much the signature concept of the Old Paradigm.

And it clearly doesn't work anymore.

As we develop into the New Paradigm, we're unlearning the false roles. We're entering an era of greater authenticity, when not only women are feminine and not only men are masculine, but the qualities of femininity and masculinity are available to everyone.

Men are connecting with their hearts (not a moment too soon!), and women are learning to stand up and lead (ditto!).

The Emerging Sexual Dynamic Between Equals

In sexual dynamics, this means the woman may initiate and the man may "surrender." It's no longer the case that the woman has to take one energetic the whole time, or the man has to take the other. We can both have both, and everyone is richer and freer for the sharing.

This is liberating in more than one way. It entirely rewrites the cultural myths and lies about softness and strength, surrender and power.

Both activating and yielding are positions of spiritual power, if approached properly.

Each of us now has the freedom as well as the obligation to seek the place where we naturally reside along the gender continuum, and explore where our own personal truth lies. Sexuality (like life) is not about playing roles anymore — it's about who you really are, and how you express your authentic essence.

But we don't yet know what that looks like in the bedroom.

Because the gender roles no longer play out the way we are still being told they should, we don't know what to do anymore.

We're in a new place, and we're feeling our way through. I say "feeling" not as a euphemism for sensuality, but because it's our hearts that will lead us through, not our thoughts. Our heads don't have any map for this territory.

But the willingness to be both soft and strong, initiating and yielding, and to find the place/role that truly resonates with you, is the key to opening up the sexual dialogue and exploring this new territory together.

When One Thing Changes,
Everything Is Changed

This is a mere overview of a very complex issue. You can see that in order to properly cover the topics introduced here would take a whole book. And there are books out there, but discernment on your part is required.

David Deida, for example, is going absolutely the wrong direction — trying to reinforce the dying Old Paradigm on the theory that it worked once, so if we go backwards to the old way, it will work again.

But it can't work, at least not for long. He's overlooking the fact that the whole world has changed... and thank Goddess for that! You can't put the genie back into the bottle, pretending men are one thing only and women are one way only, imprisoning everyone in hollow and limiting roles.

Nor should we want to.

As gender becomes more and more fluid, more responsive to authentic expression of the individual soul, such arbitrary dichotomies are doomed, revealing themselves to be false as fools' gold.

Part of the Paradigm Shift is not only the re-emergence of the spiritual, but the liberation of the feminine (and with it, the masculine, which is only beginning to realise its imprisonment).

As we become more authentic, we can achieve the meaning, heart, and spirit that sacred sexuality — indeed, the continuation of human life on Earth — requires.

Sex or Making Love:
Bringing It Home

Where all this is taking us is further into the Golden Age of life as spiritual practice. Leaving behind old, empty ego-based "values," we're moving into resonance with the Divine Qualities: freedom, joy, authenticity, creativity, and other wonderful expressions of life.

We're bringing sexuality out of the gutter, polishing it up, and putting it back on the altar where it belongs!

It fell off millennia ago, when the Old Paradigm shook the world and broke our connection with Spirit. But the Wheel has turned (Thank Goddess!), and the connections are regrowing in each individual one of us, as well as the Earth as a whole, in every single aspect of life.

Gone are the days when spirituality meant a hermetic existence on a lone bare mountaintop or monastery. We are creating a future where every aspect of life is sacred, an expression of holiness, including sexuality.

Spirituality within the human body, the human life; the household as our spiritual temple and ashram — that's the New Paradigm in action!

With Brightest Blessings,

erin Dragonsong

Witch Love Smilie  ©  Wicca Spirituality

Return from Sexuality Shift Energy Field to Silver Chalice E-Zine Feb 2015